quiet cry for help
by crazygirl043
Summary: Something happened and she's hurt.


_this story probably isn't very good. in the dialogue especially, i've tried to use capitals and punctuation (or lack thereof) to convey the tone - but i'm not sure if this will make as much sense to other readers as it does to me. I'd love some feedback on that. And i know, there are so many bits missing and the story would be much better if i could think up something to fill in the gaps. Hopefully you'll still understand though._

had to move, had to get out, couldn't stand still or she'd explode

then the feeling was gone, and she thought wryly, if someone could see me pacing like this, they'd think i was mad. and maybe they wouldn't be wrong.

a knock came at the door.

'yeah?'

'it's me'

'just a sec'

she opened the door and couldn't breathe

'come in... oh my god, come in...'

the other woman slipped through the doorway and stood there awkwardly.

'sit down, here, would you like a drink? something to eat? you look cold would you like a rug, or'

the look in the woman's eyes made her quiet. she grabbed the rug off the other chair, wrapped it around her friend and sat her down on the couch. then she was going to make tea, but she couldn't go far, so she gave a squeeze to the hand clutching hers and sat down.

they sat for a long while. one watching the other, the other watching the cat.

'you need some ice for that eye'

'it'll keep'

'are you hurt anywhere else?'

'i don't know i can't feel anything'

the monotone was unnerving. she squeezed the woman's hand and the woman gave her a little smile which didn't last.

'you felt that?'

'funny how it works, isn't it'

she didn't answer. funny was not how she'd describe this.

they sat for a while. the cat left, and there was nothing left to watch.

'minerva... what happened?'

minerva shifted uncomfortably and looked pointedly at the carpet.

'...it's okay, you don't have to tell me'

'i would... i just... i don't really know...'

'it's okay. would you like some tea?'

'um, if you're having some...'

'excellent. you just stay put and i'll be back in a minute.'

minerva inhaled only-just-audibly.

'you wouldn't mind if i... i helped?'

pomona understood

'of course you can. many hands make light work, eh? come on then.'

she one-handedly pulled the blanket tighter around her friend, and they went into the kitchen.

* * *

minerva folded the rug neatly and placed it on the chair, and pomona could hardly tell her hands were shaking.

'i'm so sorry to've wasted so much of your time, Pomona. but thank you'

her sentence wasn't finished, though her lips were pursed as usual.

pomona wondered. what do you say to a thank you like this?

'i'll walk you up to your rooms?'

'no, it's okay, really, you must have so much to do'

'i'll walk you up to your rooms.'

a pause

'if you insist'

'of course i do. shall we?'

minerva hesitated. pomona took her hand and squeezed it again. her friend blinked and smiled distantly.

'you know, you're welcome to stay a while longer if you like. and my couch is always free.'

'you're very kind... i have a lot to do, though. i really must...'

'how much do you actually think you'll get done?'

minerva paused, then smiled at her friend.

'more than i'll get done sitting here drinking tea with you! don't worry, i'll be back... i just... i think i can face the work just now. should make the most of it.'

'fair enough,' pomona said as she flicked the candles out with her wand.

it was a long walk up to gryffindor tower. neither one said a word.

in minerva's office, once pomona'd got her friend settled in

'well i'd better be off then, let you get something done...'

minerva stood to open the door for her friend, but hesitated. pomona took the opportunity to give her friend a big hug

minerva was so tense

pomona felt like running away and withering up and dying

because now it was HER scaring her friend and hurting her and making her panic

pomona didn't know why she didn't let go. she was glad, though, in the end. for a moment she thought minerva was collapsing but she wasn't, it was okay, no it wasn't, the woman was crying, but she wasn't so tense so it was not okay but better...?

pomona just held her and stroked her hair and wished she could cry as well.

* * *

'whats on your mind?'

'nothing at all, why?'

'eat, then.'

'i will, just a sec'

'no, eat.'

'i'm really not'

'eat.'

'i'

'minerva.'

this wasn't the first battle of wills they'd engaged in. pomona was determined that, this time, she would not lose.

'stop watching me then!'

pomona glared, stood and looked pointedly at one of the many bookcases lining the walls. the glass in the picture frames reflected a tired-looking woman picking at her plate. good.

'i'm finished.' some time later.

'kind of you to leave enough for me' pointed, not accusing

'i thought so' not missing a beat

last time, pomona said 'you've an appetite today! what's that, almost half?'. minerva had become quiet. so perhaps a change of tack was in order.

'you don't eat nearly enough, minerva. i'm worried. look how bony you are.'

it couldn't have been a glint of pride in the scottish woman's eyes.

pomona didn't know what to do.

* * *

'pomona when you have a nightmare do you think about it?'

'sorry?' wait, no.. 1. she had a nightmare. 2. she's obsessing over it. 'um, a little. do you?'

'a little, yes..'

'would it help if you told me about it?'

'no, i couldn't..'

pomona nodded. 'would you like to talk about anything else?'

'um.. i don't know.. could you..?'

'care to hear about the fiasco that was my last class? Merlin's beard, it was a sight by the end of the lesson...'

and as she prattled on, she watched and watched. when the hint of a smile appeared in her friend's eyes, she was overcome by a strange urge to hug the boy who had stuck his earmuffs simultaneously to the ceiling and to his own head.

'McGonagall, pull yourself together or get out! I have no patience for crying women in my staffroom. Go on, come back when you're in control of yourself, stupid woman.'

Minerva fled. Pomona nearly exploded.

'Severus Snape, you are nothing but a spineless rat and a bully! I'll have you know that the only reason I haven't hexed you into next week is that I, unlike some, care about the welfare of my students, my colleagues, and my Hogwarts!'

And walked out.

Snape nodded to the Carrows, and shrugged. 'Women,' he sneered.

It saddened him that nobody would ever know how hard that had been for him.

* * *

'Pomona!'

'Poppy, haven't seen you in days, how've you been?'

'You haven't seen me in days because you haven't been to a single meal.' The 'explain yourself' was unsaid but possibly louder than the statement the nurse had uttered.

'Oh, I've been'

'Don't give me that. I'm a nurse, Pomona. You and Minerva, the both of you. Is there anything you should be telling me?'

Sometimes you try to tell people with your eyes what you can't say out loud. It rarely works.

'What? I'm worried about both of you. Minerva's been avoiding me for weeks and she looks like a ghost. Please, Pomona...'

Pomona swallowed.

'maybe i'll talk to minerva. we might visit you. would that be alright?'

Poppy reached for her old friend's arm, but the Herbology professor pulled back. The nurse looked away.

'of course that would be fine. any time at all. i'd love to see you both.'

Pomona nodded curtly and walked briskly away. She had to be cold. It wasn't her secret to give away. She had to be cold. She wasn't going to think about how upset Poppy... whether Poppy was... about... about Poppy at all. But she would talk to Minerva. When she could.

* * *

'minerva? wake up, honey. minerva?'

pomona pushed her friend's hair back out of her eyes. the woman didn't stir.

'minerva?'

she shook her gently by the shoulder.

'please minerva can you hear me'

she was starting to panic

'please'

she was shaking the woman properly now

'ohgodohgodohgod'

and then an eyelid twitched

'honey?'

the other eyelid too. she was waking up. pomona collapsed on the couch beside her friend and started to cry.

'what.. what?'

pomona looked up at her skeletal friend. couldn't focus, eyes were blurry, too many tears. she wrapped her arms around the older woman and sobbed.

'pomona.. shh.. what's wrong?'

pomona ignored her and continued to cry. minerva didn't know what to do, so rested her head on top of her friend's. it was just that she was tired. and she couldn't do much else, anyway.

'minerva... poppy, okay?'

minerva blinked. where had this come from? 'what?'

'we need to talk to poppy.'

'oh i don't talk to poppy much any more. we've just drifted apart, i suppose.'

'no, we need to talk to her'

'well maybe you're right, you have lost a lot of weight these last few weeks pomona. i don't think i'd come, though, much better for you to have a bit of privacy and so on.'

'minerva stop it, stop it'

'sorry sweetie? i don't understand, what's'

'STOP IT YOU'RE DYING STOP IT'

a forced chuckle. 'what are you talking about, dear, i'm perfectly well!'

'you were too thin thirty pounds ago' pomona was looking her in the eye now.

'oh what nonsense. i've always been a bit pointy, that doesn't mean i'm dying!'

'you know you are.' pomona's gaze didn't falter.

'so?'

pomona didn't have an answer to that.


End file.
